Hollow Spaces-- The Wall, Shower and a Puppy's Head

 

Internet rumor mongers are complaining because we hadn't posted in awhile. Well, OK, I am starting off the post with a lie, but here is a forced update because we know you have nothing better to do than peruse blogs for blood, distress or other misfortunes. We don't have much to offer, unless you count ten days for a plumber to solve a slab leak leaving drywall and tile repair to me. Instead of having to dig up your floor and foundation, they route a Pex line through the attic and then down into your fixtures. I sort of like the glossy, plastic look though--trendy. Thank you very much Old Republic Home Warranty for covering that $940 adventure.

Somewhere in Central Texas a horse is  missing its front legs. Yes, our government puppy (cannot be trusted) continues to vary drastically on the behavior scale. In the middle of her 30 day probation period, I would  say one paw is in the grave and the other stepping on a banana peel. Geeesssh. Honestly, it's probably just as much our fault as it is hers. Our previous lab mix girl was a doll while this one is the canine devil incarnate, and we wrongfully presumed we would have an easy transition. Perhaps I have less patience, because I don't have to. No kids, not working and a town with very few red lights will do that to you.

She is sharp--knows "Sit", "Stay", "Down", "Come" and "Walk" at her 4+ month birthday. Now, if we can make progress on "Drop The Hen", "Your Howling Is Not Angelic", "My Hand Is Not A T-bone", "The Screen Door Is Not A Treat" and "My Scrotum Is Not Your Toy", then she just might find a long term stay in her future.

Perhaps her most annoying trait is her hearing--I swear from a hundred feet away she can detect me twisting off the lid to our cookie jar. She breaks into a full blown sprint faster than a group of Ethiopian children just learning the daily aerial drop will have cases of Skittles in it. Maddening.

Rest at ease readers--if we opt to release her back to a new caretaker, it will only be to an equal or better home. I think the Pyrenees breed, due to its livestock guardian nature, needs more land to exercise on and animals to harass protect. And yes, she gets plenty of opportunity to stroll around our back yard as well as a nightly, 30 minute prance around the neighborhood, but still her energy abounds.

Speaking of probation periods, our hens may go next as five hens averaging less than 2 eggs per day is not what we expected. I  guess my seven year career as a probation officer is being resurrected by my animals. I keep reminding them it is a short walk over to the BBQ grill. They just give me a chicken-in-the-headlight look.

My favorite time of the day--watching black fade to pale orange as a new day begins. For some reason, 3 months into her visit,  the pup cannot go past 515 a.m. So, we start our day for 2 hours together on the back porch, quality time with your child is important the experts say. I can't have my laptop with me as I have another  laptop outside already--of the 40 lb., fur variety. So, the compact Iphone with a Wi-Fi connection and a cup of Java is a nice start to  the day.

With our darling niece now back home and in school in Denver, the job hunt has been bumped up on the priority list. Ever ask yourself "What really do you want to do"? I am convinced what I want to create is a portable lifestyle,  one where I can be mobile and work. If I want to have my toes in the sand as the sun rises from the east in Myrtle Beach, I can. So, I have been scouring the Net for virtual positions where only Wi-Fi and a cell phone are required. I also do not want "gimmicks" (placing Craigslist ads, multi-level marketing, etc).

Teri the wizard of photo editing, huh? It worked as I was hired to perform 3 small tasks (performing video and audio grading using different browsers) by American Well , a viable telehealth company, where doctors and patients can video conference with each other. Myself as a "pretend" patient logs in via webcam and mic and communicates with a faux physician, another evaluator. Yes, I was tempted to tell my mid-50s female, fake doctor "let me zoom in my webcam and can you give you me your opinion on this oozing boil I have developing down here in my groin area", but I opted for professionalism in testing, since I think I am on probation. There's that word again.

I really do regret not exploring the whole  Work From  Home community while  on the RV journey. For those of you out there interested, let me save you  some time and give you the 3 websites: Work At Home Jobs,  Work At Home Moms (it's ok to laugh at me) and Flex Jobs. The last one though you have to pay a $15 monthly subscription fee. If any of you are working virtually, let me know of any opportunity and I will likewise!

That's it from here, off to search the Internet for a "Home Kit Dog Brain Surgery Kit", well at least one that can detect the energy lobe.

One Lady Ready To Leave, The Other Nearing Eviction

Yikes, August 1st--in Texas, places you don't want to be. In 2011, century-record heat for the area. We leave to "escape" it all in 2012 to experience--you guessed it--record heat in Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois. So, we strategically pick a town this Summer to move to which is at 1,300 feet elevation, one of the highest anywhere near Austin, and are stuck with temps 7 degrees above normal nearing 100 for the past week and no relief in sight. Yes, I confess--spoiled by Denver summers has me yearning for a return June-September. We shall see.

Well, we are winding down the Summer with two extra females in the house, one who is getting ready to return to Denver. Yes, color  me jealous. The other dame is being placed on 30 day probation to determine if she enjoys a lifestyle  of AC and pampering or prefers to be herding goats on a farm where a pond is her only relief. While the pup is improving, she still  has a way to go. Let's see what else is up in Burn-it.

For her last 13 days, we let Brynn identify 14 things she wanted to do with us before leaving back to the Mile High City. Wash the car (scratched off)--LOL--kid is gonna make someone a nice hubby. With only 3 days left to go, we are pace to finish off her list.

Hiking the trails at Longhorn Caverns State Park. I have no idea why we didn't see any wildlife--guess a couple ladies missed the Camouflage attire memo.

Two months on Purina, "Miracle-Gro" flavor.

Who is up for redneck aquatics? Stuck her in a storage tub and jetted water at her as she ducked for cover. Note: White dog in background.

Note: Dirty dog in foreground.

Optical illusion--do you see:

1) A young woman

2) An old lady

Do you see:

1) An adorable puppy

2) The Devil

 

"Alex, I will take Texas Things Seldom Seen for $400". Late July in central Texas and our yard looks like this---without a drop of sprinkler water-WOW. Eight inches of the Lord's blessing had the mower coming out of the shed as well as mosquito spray--trade offs.

Yummy, who is up for BBQ'd chicken? I got distracted bathing the pup looking toward the ground when Brynn reported "Uncle D, I think the grill is smoking too much". SMOKING? It looked like Al Qaeda had dropped a rocket-propelled grenade on the pit--darn flammable marinade. Great excuse though to try out Whataburger's new Avocado & Bacon burger.

 

Perhaps this was our rain dancer who brought us good luck--working on a science project where you take a half full glass of water, seal it off with shaving cream, then pour blue food coloring through it--simulating rain. See, she did learn something this Summer. Well, except rain isn't blue.

She truly has been as angelic as this photo suggests. We will take her tubing on the Comal River on Monday and then off to spend her last few days with the grandparents awaiting her mom and 3 year old sister to arrive and whisk her away to Colorado just in time to purchase school supplies and clothes.


Send A/C freon. Til next time.

Sadie minus the Lady

A week's respite as Brynn was occupying her Grandma and Grandpa's time 50 miles from us this past week. We had a chance to catch our breath and head back to Inks  Lake for a couple hours of kayaking by ourselves. It mapped out to be about 3.5 miles of shoulder exercise. We can never stay too long as the "missing the RV" regret-a-thon kicks in. But we did learn, absent an eight year old in the house, we had a bit more patience this past week for the Queen of Chewoslovakia.  So all you get this week is a doggy report. (Yes, I know, RV blogging was much easier).

We went with Sadie because "NoOffStopBitingQuitCleaningYourVagina" wouldn't quite fit on the name tag.

Ahhh, look who has to get chained up, even in a fenced backyard. If you can't read a Pyrenees eyes, I will translate--"Dad, I am sorry, but your kneecaps just look like USDA Prime T-bones".


At the cost of dog foods, vet bills and supplies, we had to sit her down and have a discussion. NoOffStopBitingQuitCleaningYourVagina Sadie was informed she needed to pitch in with the budget shortfalls and at least find part-time work. So far, these are the positions we have determined may be a fit:

Hotel valet.

Poultry processor for Tyson Foods.

Phlebotomist. 

Hair stylist---awesome  at unraveling French Braid.


Janitor

Runway model sporting her new designer belt--she even asked if it made her butt look big--all woman.

We did the "child custody exchange" today and have Brynn back with us this afternoon. Hopefully, the weather forecast will hold true as we both would much rather be outside. Last week, a rare blessing for our drought stricken county, as we were showered with 7.75", in a month where we average less than 1.5"!

Brynn is a swimaholic now that she has the basic concepts down. On our drive to pick  her up, I asked Teri "will  the word "swimming" come out of her mouth today or tomorrow?" When we arrived to pick her up, Grandma told me during their car ride, Brynn asked "Do you think Uncle D will take me swimming today?" Question answered.

Summer continues to fly by. Our niece only has 3 weeks left. She may outlast the dog.

Until next time.

A Summer of Fiestiness, Firsts and Favorites

(I apologize for the RSS feed issue as you may have missed the last 5 notifications--well, probably not truly missed in an emotional kind of way. Apparently, although they have my email address, Feedburner does not bother to notify you when your Blogspot feed size has reached its maximum. Hat tip to Google search combined with my Geeky son for solving it. I hope).

Well, we agreed to take in 2 females for the Summer and I guess we will count our blessings as one is perfectly well behaved. It's also nice she doesn't bite. As to the white, fluffy 4 legged Dame of Disobedience, the training curve appears to be a straight line. I am going to have to take her in for an MRI---thinking she has an inflamed ornery gland-- good grief!

Okay, I confess, we have one success training story. She goes and jingles the bells when she wants to go outside. Kudos to her as she has not had any type of accident in over a month, well, other than ripping one of the bells off the ringer which she barked was "accidental".

Our Great White Pyrenees Shark. Yes, she  is a biting machine, all  be it puppy type, still  not acceptable. So far, failed efforts include--- "NO", a shaker can, Bitter Apple spray in her face, time-out in her kennel, domination training where we hold her down, yelping like a litter mate and pinching her rib cage. I think all we have left on the list to try is a tranquilizer dart. If that proves unsuccessful, maybe getting her another animal "friend"-- I am thinking a mountain lion. And for  all  of  those who say  "she will grow out of it"--at the rate this is going, Teri and I will both be double  amputees.

 The 25 lb., 3 month old pup believes doggie beds are over rated.

She exits the house as a Great White Pyrenees and returns as a Chocolate Labrador. Between her and the 5 hens they could probably convert our backyard landscape to a garden plot in a couple of  days.

We have production! Our Texas hens are laying Rhode  Island sized eggs, hopefully to  increase in girth as they age. Only 3 of the 5 are delivering, but the first week they filled up an egg carton.

From Chicken Whisperer to Hen Hauler, Brynn has figured out how to get 3 of the laydies to submit to her. No drama, no coercing--they simply bow down when she is in their presence. Reminds me of what happens to me when my wife is around.

A day at Inks Lake State Park just hour northwest of Austin and 15 minutes from our doorstep. A GREAT RV campground for those visiting the area and for the first time since we sold our equipment, a slight feeling of regret. Funny enough as Brynn approached the shoreline, she started yelling "Uncle D, Uncle D, I see some gold flakes, now we can do some canning".

A little bow-high. I guess 50 lbs in front and 210 lbs in back isn't quite balanced, but Brynn held her own and paddled well. I do believe Teri and I found us a new favorite outdoor activity, what a blast spending an afternoon on Inks Lake in kayaks. An additional beauty is this is a rare "constant level" lake, unlike many in the area, which are now "former lakes".

From the homemade Arts&Crafts department, Brynn will now be tasked with "Keeping Littleton, CO. Weird"......

 

As we prepared to head out for her her first horseback ride ever, Brynn commented "I love my boot-cut jeans Uncle D". Huh? Guess you can take the girl out of the castle, but the Cinderella slippers have to come.

Cowgirl up! She told us,"This was a dream come true". Glad to make it happen for  her.

Best-Friends-R-Us. She thinks puppy loves her and Sadie thinks Brynn would look cute bald.

In other news.....

 

Excitement in our town is defined as Ricky and Bubba from A&E's "Storage Wars-Texas"coming to host an auction. To their credit, their good ole Texas gentleman traits remain with them as they were engaging, yet unassuming, with the 100 folks who attended.


Hard to believe our Princess Brynncess only has three weeks left of the Texas summer heat. We hand her off tomorrow to grandma and grandpa for a week followed by a night with her cousin who is our youngest son which she is phenomenally excited about. That will change quickly when she sees the contents of his refrigerator and pantry.

Til next time. 

Ladies and Laydies...

The one time you want time to fly---Summer in Texas. And it is whizzing by as Brynn is approaching one month with us this weekend. The chickens are celebrating over 2 months which means they are at "laying age". Looking forward to those deep orange yolks and an increase in baking. Well, presuming they survive their white, fluffy nemesis.

Our hens from left to right we named: Libby, Lola, J-Lo and Elsie (not pictured-Vicky) . Sadie came up with her own names: Cacciatore, Carbonera, Nuggets and Dumplings (not pictured-Kung Pao) . She is creative like that.

 

Libby, our boss hen, and Sadie having a turf war discussion. It really is a hoot to watch these two as just a mere few weeks ago Libby towered over Sadie.

 

She is having to repeat her Master Gardener course  next Summer.

Training progress report:

"Sit"- Gold

"Stay- Silver

"Down"- Bronze

"No biting"- Special Olympics qualifier

Homemade Tabasco sauce coating my ankle area. A little vinegar and cayenne pepper and the puppy quickly selects something else off the menu.

Took Brynn bowling and she asked me to show her proper form. I told her to stand back as I tend to pass gas when I hurl the ball. She did.

 

To put these two photos in perspective, Brynn arrived here very uncertain about dogs in general never being around one much. We equally had reservations about the Pyrenees pup as some can be very territorial over both inside and outside spaces. It would appear our concerns no longer have merit.

Always easy on the entertainment budget is the school playground. Nice as it is only 3 blocks away. Been down there several times already. Brynn asked me "Do you want to play Castle--you can be the King". Ahhh, guess she heard Teri's nickname for me. 

Our nightly vigil as we pray God gets us through the Summer. Ok, I kid. This was an arts project where they got glass jars, lined the inside with glue and then poured glitter around the interior.

"Alex, I will take Things That Make You Miss RV'ing for $200"..

Well, it's a 3 day bachelor weekend for this dude as on Friday Teri and Brynn travel 300 miles south (no Rv :) to celebrate her grandma's 96th birthday. I have Sadie and Laydie duty, so won't be with them.  Don't worry about me though as I have gone on-line and obtained the operation manuals for  our stove, oven and dish washer. With the queen of baking gone, I will go to ole reliable for nightly treats--Little Debbies Nutty Bars. I concede I am probably the only one that has given this much thought, but I have serious reservations about Debbie being very little.

Til next time.