Sunday, August 18, 2013

Hollow Spaces-- The Wall, Shower and a Puppy's Head

Internet rumor mongers are complaining because we hadn't posted in awhile. Well, OK, I am starting off the post with a lie, but here is a forced update because we know you have nothing better to do than peruse blogs for blood, distress or other misfortunes. We don't have much to offer, unless you count ten days for a plumber to solve a slab leak leaving drywall and tile repair to me. Instead of having to dig up your floor and foundation, they route a Pex line through the attic and then down into your fixtures. I sort of like the glossy, plastic look though--trendy. Thank you very much Old Republic Home Warranty for covering that $940 adventure.

Somewhere in Central Texas a horse is  missing its front legs. Yes, our government puppy (cannot be trusted) continues to vary drastically on the behavior scale. In the middle of her 30 day probation period, I would  say one paw is in the grave and the other stepping on a banana peel. Geeesssh. Honestly, it's probably just as much our fault as it is hers. Our previous lab mix girl was a doll while this one is the canine devil incarnate, and we wrongfully presumed we would have an easy transition. Perhaps I have less patience, because I don't have to. No kids, not working and a town with very few red lights will do that to you.

She is sharp--knows "Sit", "Stay", "Down", "Come" and "Walk" at her 4+ month birthday. Now, if we can make progress on "Drop The Hen", "Your Howling Is Not Angelic", "My Hand Is Not A T-bone", "The Screen Door Is Not A Treat" and "My Scrotum Is Not Your Toy", then she just might find a long term stay in her future.

Perhaps her most annoying trait is her hearing--I swear from a hundred feet away she can detect me twisting off the lid to our cookie jar. She breaks into a full blown sprint faster than a group of Ethiopian children just learning the daily aerial drop will have cases of Skittles in it. Maddening.

Rest at ease readers--if we opt to release her back to a new caretaker, it will only be to an equal or better home. I think the Pyrenees breed, due to its livestock guardian nature, needs more land to exercise on and animals to harass protect. And yes, she gets plenty of opportunity to stroll around our back yard as well as a nightly, 30 minute prance around the neighborhood, but still her energy abounds.

Speaking of probation periods, our hens may go next as five hens averaging less than 2 eggs per day is not what we expected. I  guess my seven year career as a probation officer is being resurrected by my animals. I keep reminding them it is a short walk over to the BBQ grill. They just give me a chicken-in-the-headlight look.

My favorite time of the day--watching black fade to pale orange as a new day begins. For some reason, 3 months into her visit,  the pup cannot go past 515 a.m. So, we start our day for 2 hours together on the back porch, quality time with your child is important the experts say. I can't have my laptop with me as I have another  laptop outside already--of the 40 lb., fur variety. So, the compact Iphone with a Wi-Fi connection and a cup of Java is a nice start to  the day.

With our darling niece now back home and in school in Denver, the job hunt has been bumped up on the priority list. Ever ask yourself "What really do you want to do"? I am convinced what I want to create is a portable lifestyle,  one where I can be mobile and work. If I want to have my toes in the sand as the sun rises from the east in Myrtle Beach, I can. So, I have been scouring the Net for virtual positions where only Wi-Fi and a cell phone are required. I also do not want "gimmicks" (placing Craigslist ads, multi-level marketing, etc).

Teri the wizard of photo editing, huh? It worked as I was hired to perform 3 small tasks (performing video and audio grading using different browsers) by American Well , a viable telehealth company, where doctors and patients can video conference with each other. Myself as a "pretend" patient logs in via webcam and mic and communicates with a faux physician, another evaluator. Yes, I was tempted to tell my mid-50s female, fake doctor "let me zoom in my webcam and can you give you me your opinion on this oozing boil I have developing down here in my groin area", but I opted for professionalism in testing, since I think I am on probation. There's that word again.

I really do regret not exploring the whole  Work From  Home community while  on the RV journey. For those of you out there interested, let me save you  some time and give you the 3 websites: Work At Home JobsWork At Home Moms (it's ok to laugh at me) and Flex Jobs. The last one though you have to pay a $15 monthly subscription fee. If any of you are working virtually, let me know of any opportunity and I will likewise!

That's it from here, off to search the Internet for a "Home Kit Dog Brain Surgery Kit", well at least one that can detect the energy lobe.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

One Lady Ready To Leave, The Other Nearing Eviction

Yikes, August 1st--in Texas, places you don't want to be. In 2011, century-record heat for the area. We leave to "escape" it all in 2012 to experience--you guessed it--record heat in Minnesota, Wisconsin and Illinois. So, we strategically pick a town this Summer to move to which is at 1,300 feet elevation, one of the highest anywhere near Austin, and are stuck with temps 7 degrees above normal nearing 100 for the past week and no relief in sight. Yes, I confess--spoiled by Denver summers has me yearning for a return June-September. We shall see.

Well, we are winding down the Summer with two extra females in the house, one who is getting ready to return to Denver. Yes, color  me jealous. The other dame is being placed on 30 day probation to determine if she enjoys a lifestyle  of AC and pampering or prefers to be herding goats on a farm where a pond is her only relief. While the pup is improving, she still  has a way to go. Let's see what else is up in Burn-it.

For her last 13 days, we let Brynn identify 14 things she wanted to do with us before leaving back to the Mile High City. Wash the car (scratched off)--LOL--kid is gonna make someone a nice hubby. With only 3 days left to go, we are pace to finish off her list.

Hiking the trails at Longhorn Caverns State Park. I have no idea why we didn't see any wildlife--guess a couple ladies missed the Camouflage attire memo.

Two months on Purina, "Miracle-Gro" flavor.

Who is up for redneck aquatics? Stuck her in a storage tub and jetted water at her as she ducked for cover. Note: White dog in background.

Note: Dirty dog in foreground.

Optical illusion--do you see:
1) A young woman
2) An old lady

Do you see:
1) An adorable puppy
2) The Devil

"Alex, I will take Texas Things Seldom Seen for $400". Late July in central Texas and our yard looks like this---without a drop of sprinkler water-WOW. Eight inches of the Lord's blessing had the mower coming out of the shed as well as mosquito spray--trade offs.

Yummy, who is up for BBQ'd chicken? I got distracted bathing the pup looking toward the ground when Brynn reported "Uncle D, I think the grill is smoking too much". SMOKING? It looked like Al Qaeda had dropped a rocket-propelled grenade on the pit--darn flammable marinade. Great excuse though to try out Whataburger's new Avocado & Bacon burger.

Perhaps this was our rain dancer who brought us good luck--working on a science project where you take a half full glass of water, seal it off with shaving cream, then pour blue food coloring through it--simulating rain. See, she did learn something this Summer. Well, except rain isn't blue.

She truly has been as angelic as this photo suggests. We will take her tubing on the Comal River on Monday and then off to spend her last few days with the grandparents awaiting her mom and 3 year old sister to arrive and whisk her away to Colorado just in time to purchase school supplies and clothes.

Send A/C freon. Til next time.