Thursday, May 17, 2012

Random Acts of Rv'ing V3.0

RV Rule #1- anything with a tire is subject to breaking.

A first amongst a dozen campgrounds visited when I inquired as to their rules of washing vehicles at the campsite--"We not only allow it, we encourage it". Nine others said "no", one you had to move to a dedicated wash pad area and 1 other wanted $10. Regarding the fee one, I used my RV charm and good looks well-honed husband begging skills and asked for a complimentary wash in exchange for a week's stay--it was granted.

"Alex, I'll take THINGS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK THIN for $400".

After logging 3,000 miles in 5 other states, not a single driver did I see pumping their own fuel that was engulfed in flames-- did I miss something? I enter Oregon where I learn employees must pump my gas. Join altogether folks as we sing the chorus to "Nanny State". I felt like tapping on the employee's shoulder and asking "Hey, since you have nothing to do but stare at me while you hold that nozzle, how is that VCR holding up for you?". And I didn't want to scare him and bring up any discussion of ATMs, oh the horror.

Molly Maid called, she wants her Brillo pad back. Woah, time for a haircut. Thank goodness for my wife, chef, co-pilot, wheel estate cleaner, prayer warrior and interim hairstylist. Me, unemployed blogger of nothing. Yes, married outside of my league and all that.

This was on the inside of the door of a campground restroom. I saw the little praying doll figure and was thinking "What kind of tough times are these stalls seeing?". I read it (not much else to do since I didn't have my graffiti pen) and noted they omitted the final sentence: "And these are the same folks who will hop into their $200K motor home tomorrow and blaze the Interstate with you at 70 mph!". You really have 2 groups in the elderly RV category-- fit, agile and well-oriented to the RV lifestyle would be the first type. The other represents this class-- "Dalbert, we turn 85 this year, think we ought to start focusing on that bucket list and get started on the USA motor home tour? Yes, Gerty, let's head down to Camping World". It's like I keep staring at their RV's rear view mirror looking for the handicap placard.

Another of this country's unsolved mysteries. A 40+ year old man, standing bare-footed in the 43 degree waters of the Sacramento River strumming his banjo and singing to his heart's content to an audience of trout. Due to the distance, I could not grasp the name of the tune, but the chorus sounded like "My Old Kentucky Mental Home".

There you go folks---more useless information on the RV highway--I hope I did not disappoint!


  1. I give a hearty BOO-YAH to the trout singer. Too few of us sing. To trout.

    Did you check out RVThereYet's Facebook response? That may be the place to get questions answered.

    Now that we're buds, may I make a suggestion? It's about that word verification thing... Lots of us want to say "HAHAHA!" to your posts, but we come nose-to-nose with those undecipherable words and we get dejected. Remember, we don't see so well, and we don't move so fast. BEEPBEEPGETOUTOFTHEPASSINGLANE!

  2. NJ is also a state where we cannot pump our own gas. A popular bumper stick is "Jersey girls don't pump their own gas".